Why Must I Confuse? ;)

Just to clarify a few things and give y'all some more info (as I wrote my last post in about 5 minutes while I let the car warm up to go pick the Mr. up from work) :)

I am currently teaching part time - 1 class at the local community college. I am teaching a business communications type of course, but I am an English person (for whatever reason they like to use English people to teach this course). I will be teaching a composition course next semester. My ideal job would be a full time instructor in English/writing/literature at a community college (this is the only level I am qualified to teach). Of which there is all of 1 within driving distance. There is one about an hour and a half away, but that's just too far - especially during the winter months. Anyway, this community college is very small and its very unlikely that they will be hiring another full time English person... so the job I've been waiting for is an English tutoring job (when I first started teaching this semester the dean told me this person may be leaving). Which I would still be able to teach at least one course a semester, but have a full time position in an academic/education field.

So anyway, its not that I'm in a big hurry to get back to work or anything... I do enjoy being a stay at home mommy. And especially with a new one on the way -due this summer, and have no desire to take a 6 week old to daycare... if this tutoring job had come open it would probably have been one of the only opportunities to come around for a long time. For this reason, I do miss living in a city that had at least 3 community colleges within driving distance...

And really, if I had it to do all over again, I would have made much different choices in my degrees... I would have done either my BA or MA in Secondary English Education and got certification to teach High School or Jr High... That way I could widen my opportunities for teaching. But as it is now, I would essentially have to do another MA degree to be able to teach HS or JrH. So I have one option for teaching. I have considered doing online schooling for a PhD, that way I could teach at the college level, but then again, there are no 4 year colleges within driving distance... so it would almost be pointless.

Honestly, I never imagined myself a stay at home mom. I always planned on working. But then when I had my son, I just wanted to stay home with him. I just couldn't imagine sending him to daycare. He was very needy, and colicky. My husband could barely handle him when I would go to the store or anywhere by myself. I would never in a million years have taken him to an in-home daycare. I just wouldn't have trusted that kind of situation with him. I knew how frustrated I got with him and how much the crying and screaming (from colic) wore on me. But back then my husband had a fellowship from the college he was attending, which would be running out at the end of that year. So one of us had to get a full time job asap.

I ended up getting one first. I got an administrative job at the college that my husband was attending. He had already passed his comps, so he only had a seminar class to attend that was in the evenings. He was also working on his dissertation. He was watching the boy while I worked. Day one he called and said he couldn't handle it and I needed to find a daycare.

It was a very stressful time. And the hubby got the boy on a routine which helped out a little. But he still was having issues and really did not want to be the stay at home parent. I wasn't making a whole lot, so daycare was kind of out of the question. Plus, the only place in town didn't have any part time openings...

Long story short, hubby began his job search asap ;) and ended up finding a full time job up in Northern Wisconsin, where his family is from. And luckily it was making just enough so that I could stay at home. (really the job I had wouldn't have cut it once his fellowship ran out). It was a good thing that he was making enough because the jobs around here are few and far between, even in the service industry. So I've been a stay at home mom ever since. He is now working a different job and makes about $8000 less than he did before. But is a more fulfilling job (and less stressful) and one that he actually went to school for.

But we are totally living paycheck to paycheck. And if it wasn't for my part time teaching income we probably wouldn't be making it. It would be nice to actually have some extra money once in a while. It would be nice to get a full time teaching or tutoring job for that reason. But in reality, the house would be even more neglected, and I just really would rather not send my kids to daycare. I don't want to miss any of their milestones. Anyway, as the job will not be open, I guess the decision has been taken out of my hands anyway. I am glad in a way, but I am also pretty bummed. I can just hope that within a couple of years they will decide to hire another English teacher :)