I'm such an ass...

Guess what guys? I tested too early!! Twice!! You gotta read the fine lines on these things people ;) I tested 5 days before my period was due... the first time... that was Tuesday. And it was after drinking a few cups of coffee - well after my first morning pee... Then I thought I would just check again on Wed morning with first morning pee. When they say 5 days sooner... that means 5 days before the day after you should have started your period. So really its 4 days before your expected period. And of course I totally did not even take heed of the percentage info on the test:

53% of pregnant women get results 5 days sooner. 74% get results 4 days sooner. 84% get results 3 days sooner, 87% get results 2 days sooner.

So I got my second negative on Wednesday and was so depressed that I went ahead and drank too much coffee, didn't take my prenatal vitamin... etc... just assumed that a negative really meant "no chance in hell you idiot."

But not too long after getting that negative, my boobs started really hurting. And I realized that I wasn't just thinking they hurt due to wishing they hurt. And the day I got the negative? Totally scarfed down a whole KFC famous bowl in record time. My hubby was astonished to see that and commented on it. And the whole time I was afraid that he would accuse me of being pregnant and I would totally lose it and sob while telling him that I wasn't. And then I started with the heartburn. I've had horrid heartburn for the past three days! And I've been falling asleep watching tv at 9pm!! And did I mention how damned hungry I was???

So, this morning I debated with myself as long as I could hold my pee about whether to waste my last test or not. I decided, who cares? Waste of money for a good reason. And I can just buy more next month if necessary.

So guess what happened? Just as I was starting to get really discouraged for the third time this month, and just as I was about to pitch the thing in the trash... a faint little second line showed up!!!!! It's there!! 2 lines!!!!

I just can't form the words for how uber-happy this makes me today! Hubby was all smiles too.

But now comes the really hard part. Being scared and paranoid for the next 9 weeks. Hoping and praying that all will go well until that 12 week mark. And then the worry and anxiety of making it the rest of the way without any complications.

I'm just going to try really hard to stay as positive as possible. Think positive. Be positive. Take it easy and relax. And pray. Pray, pray, pray that I will be able to keep this baby in my belly. Please baby stay with me. I want you. I need you. I love you already! Please love me too!