My tween daughter went to a Halloween party this weekend. She actually voluntarily took a shower in the afternoon to get ready for the party. She counted down the minutes until she could get ready, until we would leave, until she would get there! She was so excited about this party. She even tried to tell me that the party started at 12:30, even though I had called and talked to the mother who told me the party started at 1pm. She was probably just trying to get there on time. I need to remember to explain to her the concept of casually late ;)
Anyway, what does she decide to wear to this party that she's been counting the days down for two weeks for? The crappiest, oldest, stained up t-shirt she owns and some exercise pants. I made her go change at least her shirt. She comes down 10 minutes later in an equally crappy t-shirt. I had to have her change 3 times before I just gave up. At least the t-shirt she wore was fairly new. But still, it was just a crappy t-shirt.
I threatened to take away all of her crappy clothes. And I think I'm actually going to do it. Its a battle we've been having for a couple of years now. She was horrified at the thought of losing her crappy clothes. I buy her clothes all of the time! I buy her decent, good looking clothes. I buy her clothes that she yearns after in the store. Does she wear these clothes to school? Even the ones that she herself picks out? NO! She insists, day after day, on wearing the crappiest clothes she owns to school. And then she will wear her decent clothes on the weekend.
Last weekend we were going to take a bunch of garbage to the dump. What does she put on? Yep, one of her newest, light pink, outfits. Name-brand pretty stuff. To the garbage dump.
When we were moving six months ago, she had packed all of the stuff that was most important to her. Left in her room were tons of clothes with tags still on them.
Does she not understand anything about image? Or maybe its that she does? Maybe she wants everyone to think that she's horribly poor and her parents never buy anything for her? I know that one of her things is to guilt people into giving her things. Especially food. But could she really be that conniving? Or am I just being paranoid?
It really pains me to think that she's trying to make people think that she has it bad or something. We get her just about everything she wants within reason. She's got a room full of stuff that she just had to have and played with for about a week.
I don't know what her deal is, but I really wish she would just wear her decent clothes to school. I guess I should be glad that she doesn't have to wear name-brand stuff every day.
Passing The Baton
11 months ago
4 comments:
Maybe it's not that she wants people to think she has it bad, but make people think she doesn't have it so good...do you know what I mean? Like, if you're providing name-brand, nice, preppy-type clothes and all her friends are wearing Walmart-type stuff, maybe she just wants to fit in with them?
I think it must be a thing teen girls do. My neice is the exact some way!
My 12yr old does the same sort of thing. She will wear her clothes until they are so small that I have to sneak them from her when I do the laundry. Her problem is that she doesn't want her younger sis to get her hand-me-downs. Maybe you have to start "losing" your daughters clothes when you do laundry.
@ Darcie: I think you may be on to something there.
@ Jo-Jo: Another good suggestion. Could be!
@ Carrin: Now that is an awesome idea. Thanks!
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