Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I Wish I Was Making This Stuff Up!

For those of you dying to know - I kid myself ;) The p-test (what an accurate abbreviation!) was a BFN. Negative. I think it actually laughed at me both times I dug it out of the garbage to make sure another line didn't show up. I was going to do a long depressing post about how disappointed I am, but... I need to find a good mood from somewhere. I have to teach tonight. So I will try to save my depression for tomorrow when I have no other-worldly obligations.

So on to the post having nothing to do with not being pregnant this month.

I have reprimanded my 11-year old daughter many many times about taking her time when she does things. She is constantly tearing open packages beyond the ziplock, opening packages upside down... spilling things out in her hurry to get the package open.

Cut to this morning. Little man has climbed over the safety gate, into the kitchen, got himself into his booster seat and buckled himself up and is requesting "marshmewows, marshmewows, marshmewows, nebo smoot snacks, nebo smoot snacks (Nemo fruit snacks), marshmewows, marshmewows, banowna bar (granola bar), marshmewows, marshmewows..." while I'm trying to make my coffee.

So I, under much duress, am trying to open a new bag of his marshmellow cereal (which, yes, he will only eat the marshmellows out of) as quickly as possible so that he will cease with the raving 3 year old rant...

What happens? Of course, I tear open the bag past the ziplock! Out pops little chocolate balls and marshmellows.

And then what happens? My potty mouth gets the better of me and I say "son of a big fat bitch" because of course it couldn't have just been shit or damn or anything less colorful.

And what does little man pick out of that phrase to repeat?

"mama's a fat bitch, mama's a fat bitch"

I wish I was making that up.

I turned my head so he couldn't see me giggling like a jr. high school girl... and so he would quit repeating that asap! God I hope he forgets that one really really quick!

What am I teaching these kids? Give me a bar of Lava soap quick!

19 comments:

Jo-Jo said...

At least your little one didn't overhear an arguement between you and hubby and turn to his brother and say "What the F**K, Cayden!" Yeah...I wish I was making that up. Someone is going to take my mommy certificate away.

jenn3 said...

Haha. Oh that's so not funny, but it's so funny. I would have had to hide my laughter too. It's crazy how kids always pick up on the things you don't want them to repeat.

LazyCrazyMama said...

@ Jo-Jo: LOL!!! They are going to take mine away too! :)

LazyCrazyMama said...

@ Jenn3: Oh I know! :)

The Mom said...

Sorry about the BFN...and yes many many times i've dug through the garbage to take one last peek at the stick to make sure it didn't change!

And I have slipped the F or B so many times I think my kids think i'm a trucker. Luckily they know better than to repeat it.

;)

LazyCrazyMama said...

@ The Mom: Thanks :) and LOL!

Pregger TJ said...

it's ok, we've ALL had those "damn it" moments of mommy-hood. mine? i had a mixed cd in my car that would play over & over that i loved. i really didn't pay much mind to the songs that played, i'd only sing along or whatever. well, one of the songs was a rap song by Akinyele called "Put it in my mouth." And the melody is quite catch & the song is HILARIOUS. well not so hilarious when your 3 year old is singing along! that CD was retired that day.

Darcie said...

That's okay. I cuss so often that now, if I say, "Son of a..." and don't finish the phrase, my daughter will pipe up and say, "Bitch!"

LazyCrazyMama said...

@ Pregger TJ: Hilarious!!! I would retire that CD pretty fast too! :)

@ Darcie: LOL!! Too funny!

Merrie said...

I am awful about this and have had my un-proud moments. I can only hope the kids will grow up like I did -- with the knowledge that grownups can say what they want, but you're a kid and can't. Live with it. And then of course we all experiment in the teen years. Ah, memories!

Merrie said...

And sorry about the BFN. Did you possbily test too early? I know eagarness gets the best of us sometimes.

Aubrey said...

Sorry about the -

At least your little one gave you a good giggle today. You have to admit, that was pretty darn funny! (see! I watched my language! LOL)

Jenn said...

How funny, I tend to swear a tad too much in front of the kids, but somehow the older kids always knew just because I do it doesn't mean they are allowed and they never copied me. However I am finding my 13 year old is getting caught swearing when she doesn't think I can hear her, my 15 almost 16 year old never does or my 11 year old but the middle one she's going to be trouble I can just feel it!

LazyCrazyMama said...

@ Merrie: ;) I know, I tried explaining to tweenie why she couldn't say "what the frick"
And I did test too early - Wed was 4 days b4 (when they say 5 days sooner, it's really 4 days before you are due to start), but I got too anxious and tested on tues (in the afternoon no less)... so then I wasted another test wed morning... same result :( I won't waste another test unless I end up late, but I'm not too hopeful.

@ Aubrey: Yes, it was *darn* funny ;)

LazyCrazyMama said...

@ Jenn: LOL!!

Amy said...

HAHAH!
Oh man, that is great.

Sounds like quite an eventful morning.

Hope he does not say that when dad is around.

Rachel said...

OMG....how cute is he!!! Love has to watch Nemo over and over...and the fruit snacks...loves them too!

kristen said...

Sorry about the test. Glad you got a giggle out of your son!!

Motorcycle Fairings said...

so cute!

Related Posts with Thumbnails