The Boy Who Cried "Potty!"

One of the things I worried about while potty training Little Man was our frequent small road trips to the store and such. Around here everything is at least 30 miles away, with almost nothing in between home and where you are going. Both routes we take to the town we frequent have 1 gas station along the way. One route it's near the middle of our trip, the other it's toward the end. It really worried me - largely because there really aren't even any good spots to pull off on the side of the road. They are all state or county highways with absolutely no shoulder and some with big drop offs...

The amazing thing is that it's never really been the problem I thought it would be. Little Man has been full potty trained for about 7-9mos now. He hasn't even had an accident at night in the past few months (I almost hate writing that because it will surely conjure one up) ;)

At first he was very hesitant to go to the bathroom in public. We bought one of those potty seats for traveling, which made all the difference. Totally worth it. After he got used to the idea of using that, he was fine.

So once he got to be a pro about going in public, it became a novelty. We almost can't drive by the gas station without him saying he has to "go potty at the gas station!!" Seriously, one day he fell asleep on the way home and missed the gas station and was so upset when we got home because he wanted to go potty at the gas station.

Because it's such a novelty for him to go in public places it's impossible to tell when he really has to go! If we're in a hurry to get where we're going on home I tend to ignore him. And he's never had an accident in the car. Until last night.

By the time we realized that he *really* had to go potty this time we had already passed the one gas station. I remembered one area that had a little turn out, but by the time we got there he had just gone. I felt bad, but... what was I to do? Maybe it will teach him a lesson about crying "Potty." But probably not. It will probably just make me stop every single time he says he has to go. Boy does he have me trained well ;)

Why I May Be Seeing a Little Green!

And I'm not talking about "green with envy." And I'm not talking about the special power attributed to green M&Ms. Yes, I'm talking about the "earth friendly" type of green here.

Long story, but I know you will all bear with me. In the end, it is me preparing to sew cloth diapers, training pants and overnighters... I've got some pretty good reasons.

Several weeks ago, a pull up got stuffed in with the dirty clothes. Do you have any idea how absorbent these things are?? It threw my washer out of balance in a serious way. I ran to check the washer and at first there was this unrecognizable huge white thing that looked like a pillow. I didn't remember putting a pillow in the wash... Seriously the thing was the size of a pillow!!! As soon as I touched it, it exploded a bunch of gel beads all over my clothes in the wash. Eewwww. I had to re-wash the clothes a couple of times. I was totally grossed out. They may be that absorbent, but we all know that 2 big boy pees will more likely than not soak through clothes and furniture.

After that happened I started seriously thinking about what the hell is next to my babies' skin. I mean it can't be good. So I started looking up cloth diapering info and patterns and such. Then I mentioned to my husband my plans to sew up some cloth diapers. He asked whether we could afford the disposables. Thinking that we were in some kind of financial trouble. And to be truthful, we both know how lazy I am... so the time investment required for the clean up of cloth diapers is a little beyond what I am usually willing to put in. So he said that as long as we can afford it we should use the disposables. And at first I agreed after looking up some of the washing instructions...because it does seem like quite a bit of work...

So I started really looking for a reason to justify sewing diapers. Mostly because they look like some fun sewing ;) but, also the pull up incident has been in the back of my mind... and the fact that Baby Sister has had a very mild continuous diaper rash for about the past 6 mos. It's not bad at all, just a few dots in her diaper area.

Little Man has been completely potty trained for a quite a few months now, but I still put a pull up on him at night, just in case. And that is a serious waste. Out of 10 days he might wet overnight once or twice. So 80-90% of his pull ups go unused. Sometimes I save them and put them on him a second night, but not usually, it just doesn't seem quite clean...

So, in lieu of all out sewing diapers, I thought I would sew up some overnight pull up types for little man. Then I thought, why stop there? Why not do up some potty training pants for Baby Sister while I'm at it?? And some extra absorbent ones for her overnight.

Then the big chain store that I buy my generic diapers from did something awful. They changed their diapers!! Not only did they make them hoards thinner (like paper!), but they made them smaller. And it took that change for me to realize that a while back they cut the number of diapers in a box by 10!!! I used to get 80 size 5s for 13.97 - then it was 70 for 14.97. At the moment I pay about $100 a month for diapers and pull ups for 3 kids. That's really not bad all told. But if I have to switch to name brand diapers... that's going to impact our budget. I'm guessing that the changes in the diapers will affect our budget too - as I will be going through twice as many diapers...and have to move up a size for both the little ones who are still in diapers, which means less diapers in a box... Grrrr.

So the deal with the diapers pretty much cemented my plans on going cloth.

But seriously...I still have to wonder about the health of disposable diapers. Of course that has weighed into my decision. I spent yesterday thinking about all the possible/prolonged health issues, not only with diapers, but with the combination of products that we are using with our babies... about 4 years ago there was some study that claimed some formulas could impact fertility...the BPA (which can affect fertility) in plastics (bottles, feeding dishes, sippy cups). And god knows what is really in the disposable diapers. I read somewhere an implication about fertility issues with whatever is in the disposables (but don't know how reliable the source was). I totally want grandkids.

Yes, I obsess much. And I'm probably just being completely paranoid and overly dramatic.

Now I just have to convince my husband and myself that I can deal with the mess of cloth diapers :)

And of course I have to get off my lazy ass and sew some! ;)

On the lighter side ;)

Finally. I almost forgot that a week, two weeks, three weeks ago? I promised a lighter post. I meant to post something lighthearted and humorous about potty training now 4 year old Little Man! I started writing the post, but it became "Because Time Won't Give Me Time" which really wasn't lighthearted at all.

I'm a lazy potty-trainer. That and I really don't want to push it and make it a miserable experience for him. We've been working on it for probably about a year now in a casual sort of way. In January or February I decided to step it up a notch and started offering him treats for going. It worked remarkably well for a week or so. Especially if he really wanted some candy! For several days he would keep a dry pull-up. But I couldn't get him to try big-boy underwear. In my mind I thought the big-boy underwear would do the trick. I thought once he pees in those he will hate how it feels and will be miraculously trained!

Not so much.

I should have known that he goes in his "cool alert" pull ups all the time and it doesn't bother him a bit. If I didn't smell or check for poopies he would certainly run around with a poopy butt as long as I would let him.

He's been off and on, had his good days where he keeps his pull up dry all day, bad days where he is not at all interested in going in the potty.

A couple (few?) weeks ago he had two or three really good days in a row where he was pretty much keeping a dry and clean pull up all day! I coaxed him into his big-boy underwear. He did a great job all day. Then after dinner I checked with him to see if he had to go. He said nope. I talked to him and explained to him for the millionth time that day that he had big boy underwear on and *had* to use the potty every time he had to pee or poop. He understood.

Not two minutes later he was behind the rocking chair, eyes watering.

"You are not going poop are you???"
"Nope. I just peed. And pooped."

Grrrr.

Let me just say that cleaning up the underwear isn't as big of a deal as getting those underwear down without any accidents. They should totally make big boy underwear that velcro on the sides for just such an occasion.

**Skip this paragraph if you get grossed out easily!!** Here I am desperately trying to keep those turds safely in his underwear while trying to get them off... of course two little ones fell out... I'm screaming at my daughter to get a wipe while holding my son and trying to hold the dog back... thought disaster was averted and proceed to get his underwear the rest of the way off when I noticed there was one other very small turn that fell out, and before I could even tell my daughter to get another wipe the dog swiftly snatched it up!! We both screamed! Tweenie said she was definitely NOT going to be kissing the dog that night!

I am totally going to make my own velcro-sided big boy underwear!!

On a completely different topic, I just re-discovered CafeMom. I signed up and browsed the message boards once about 2 years ago when I was just starting my first blog and then quickly forgot all about it. It seems to be like most other social media sites, (ie: trying to be like facebook in some way!) but I started a group there for Colic support. So if you or someone you know has a colicky baby, send them to my group here.

Because Time Won't Give Me Time

I've lost my extra set of hands. Tweenie started school today. If it weren't for the fact that I know she really loves school, I would swear she was counting the days until she was off diaper duty ;) Really, she has been such a big help to me for the past couple of months. The one day I was by myself before she got back from summer camp I felt like I was changing diapers all day.

That is one of the many reasons I've been stepping up the potty training with Little Man. With 3 in diapers I am changing diapers all day.

Time is a precious commodity for mothers. And there just never seems to be enough of it to go around.

Before I had children, I was having a discussion with one of my co-workers who had two small children. She was confiding in me what a tough job parenting was. She felt it was really hard to resist that urge to baby your children and do everything for them, because really your job as a parent is to help them become independent. There's a fine line there. That discussion has always stuck with me because I knew it was the truth.

But I had no real concept of how hard it would really be.

My biggest issue is time. It takes a lot of time and patience to help your little ones become able to do things for themselves. For me, it is just so much faster to do everything for them. But it is also doing them a disservice.

The other issue that plays a minor role is the idea that in your mind they are still babies. Your image of them is that they are too small and too young to do things for themselves. Which is probably just your mind making excuses for all the time you will save picking their toys up yourself (taking 5 minutes) instead of asking them repeatedly to do it and helping them do it (maybe taking more like 15-20 minutes).

What really made me think of this was watching Tweenie help them do things over the past couple of weeks. Especially while we have been working on potty training Little Man.

Time is not an issue for Tweenie. She has all the time in the world. Her motivations are not to save time. Her motivations are to do as little as possible. Her motivations are having them do things for themselves because she doesn't want to do them. And it's worth it to her for the task to take 30 mintues instead of 5 if it means that SHE doesn't have to do it.

The amazing thing in all this is that SHE is the one that is on the right track.

Last night I heard her in the bathroom telling Little Man to wipe his own butt. My first instinct was to tell her that she needed to wipe his butt. He's just too young and incapable. But yet, a couple of weeks ago when I was thinking about sending him to pre-school I was thinking that he was going to have to learn how to wipe himself. Instead of telling her to do it, I listened while she patiently instructed him on how to do it himself. I was impressed, and also feeling a little guilty. Of course he's capable, of course he NEEDS to learn to do that on his own. But I haven't taken the time with him. It always seems that when he has to go potty I am in a hurry. I pull his pants down quick, set him on the potty and then quickly wipe him and get his pants back on because the baby is crying or because I was in the middle of something else...

A week or so ago I did realize the value of having him pull down his own pants and get himself on the potty as well as getting his pants back on. Probably because I was holding a crying baby at the time :) But also because when he goes to pre-school he is going to have to do all that by himself.

Time. Isn't it sad how sometimes everything boils down to time. The thing is, in the long run, by teaching him to do things on his own, I WILL be saving time! While it will take time and patience now to show him and teach him how to do things for himself... the more he can do for himself, the less time I have to spend doing those things for him.

And I just need to suck it up and claim him no longer a baby! How I hate to let that go :( My first baby boy is getting all grown up on me. He is going to be 4 in 2 days! He IS a big boy!

It just Figures!

My mom called and was about an hour away. So I went into the room that I set up for her and little man came and hung out with me on the bed while I put some of their clothes away and tidied up the room for mom... I decided to just go ahead and change his clothes while we were in there... discovered he had peed in his pull up... so I took it off and went to get a new one. When I came back he had peed and drizzled all over the freshly laundered sheets and blanket! At that point my mom was about a half an hour away. At least it was the afternoon and she wasn't getting there late. I had time to get the bed stuff washed and dried by bedtime... but still! I just couldn't believe it! The boy is damn near potty trained!

Little man is doing great on the potty. Of course he has his good days when he will keep a dry pull up all day and night. Then there are still days when he forgets all about the whole potty thing and has a few wet pull ups. But the great thing is that he is pooping in the potty about half the time!

Baby girl has sat on the potty a couple of times, but since we put the two little ones in their own beds, little man isn't waking her up in the mornings, so she's not racing him to the potty... Oh well. It's pretty early for her to be potty trained anyway. And I'm kind of expecting little man to do a little backsliding once new baby is born... we shall see.

Wee Loves to Potty!

It's time again for Potty Time Tuesdays, hosted by Healthy Moms!

Well, Little Man is doing about the same: he had his good potty days and the days where he kind of forgets about the whole going on the potty thing except for in the mornings, naptime and bedtime (he's realized he can really prolong naptime and bedtime by taking excessive time on the potty!). But over the past week he has done #2 in the potty several time! Of course he's still more often than not, going in his pull up, but it's still wonderful progress in my book! :)

But the amazing thing is that Baby Girl has gone potty in the potty chair every single morning for almost a week now!! And she totally gets the whole M&M thing ;) This morning after she went she totally ran right over to the potty M&M jar and demanded her reward!

She will come to the potty every time that Little Man does, but so far the only time she's gone is first thing in the morning. But still it's quite an accomplishment :)

Speaking of Potty Issues...

So far potty training little man is going pretty well! He is about 3 1/2, and we had a "trial" start several months ago, but he must not have really been ready, and I was pretty lazy about it.

I just wasn't (and still am not) ready to go all out and put my furniture and carpets at risk ;) I don't want to spend my days cleaning pee off of everything - so...

We were managing OK the first time we tried. If I got him to the potty he would always go. He would never initiate it though. Then one day I caught him mid-poop and scooped him up and took him to the potty chair. Major trauma. After that, every time I would ask if he had to go to the bathroom he would say "maybe tomorrow" or "maybe later." And if I tried to force it, he would get upset. So I left off for a while. I thought I would wait until the summer or at least warmer weather and let him run around naked, I'd heard a few people say that worked well..

But then the husband got on my case about him not being potty trained. So I started talking to little man about it every time I changed his pull-up. I was halfway thinking about just putting him in underwear and seeing if that worked (a few people also suggested this method). But then again, the thought of having to clean up... not appealing.

Last week I started telling him that he could get a treat (his favorite candy bar in mini sizes) if he used the potty chair. Nothing the first day. Then the second day, after telling him everytime I changed his pull-up... out of nowhere he said "I can go potty and get a kitty-kat" and ran to the bathroom and went!

But then later that night I started reconsidering the treat method... It was bedtime, and he had obviously just gone potty in his pull-up when he wanted some candy. He said again "I can go potty and get a kitty-kat" and ran to the bathroom. We sat there forever. He was bound and determined to go. After 30mins I tried to get him off the potty chair. "NO! I GO POTTY AND GET KITTY-KAT!" He cried and cried and got all worked up. And I felt so awful. Of course I didn't give in and give him one, he didn't go. And that would have defeated the whole purpose.

The next day, as soon as he woke up he remembered and said "I go potty and get a kitty-kat." And he went. And he did this all day, every time he had to go to the bathroom! He only went in his pull-up at naptime! He did this for 2 days straight! I thought it was quite the success.

Then, the next day... 2 things happened. #1 he pooped in the potty!!! I couldn't believe it. He said he had to go and was in there forever. When I went to check on him he said he pooped, but I assumed he meant pee (for some reason he says he pooped when he has peed). So I was so surprised to see he actually pooped! I've heard that boys are hell to get to poop in the potty.
So anyway, #2 he got up at naptime and said he had to go potty and get a kit-kat. Well he went. My husband was on vacation and at home, and said that little man had to wait until he woke up from his nap to get his candy for going potty. After that he went in his pull-up until bedtime. I was really pretty upset about it. But I'm not going to go against my husband in front of the children like that. So... grrr... Was re-thinking the whole treat method yet again. And I was feeling all bad about it again. I don't care if it was naptime. I would have given it to him. You have to be consistent with these things. You just can't make a promise like that and then change the rules.

Then to make matters worse, the very next day my husband declares that little man is getting too many treats and now he has to go potty 3 times before he can get his candy. He did make a little chart and put it up in the bathroom and explain it to little man. I'm just not sure he really gets it. Well, its apparent he doesn't get it when the first two times he peed the next day he wanted his kit-kat and was really disappointed and threw a fit when we tried explaining to him that he would have to go potty 2(1) more time(s). He finally managed to go 3 times (after going several times in his pull-up). But the days prior he was going at least 5 times in the potty, and his pull-up was dry almost all day.

I guess we'll give it a few more days and see if he gets it or see whether it has deterred him from his progress...

Participate in the Potty Time Tuesdays at Healthy Moms! If you are in the process of potty training, or starting to think about potty training, she's having a contest this week to win a potty training kit from Baby Signs.