Thursday, November 12, 2009

It's My Birthday and I'll Vent If I Want To!!

I'm not one of those who get all excited about birthdays or anything. And my husband just doesn't do shopping by himself. So generally my birthday consists of going to Wal-Mart and getting whatever decent movie came out that week. And I'm fine with that.

But here's what happened yesterday - on my 40th birthday...
Someone (the husband) decides to wake me up at 5am poking me in the back with his you know what. Anyone who even marginally knows me, knows that I love sleep and I'm very much lacking it. I wouldn't appreciate being woken up at 5am on ANY day, let alone on my birthday! If you love me, give me an extra 15minutes of sleep!!

So all morning he was mad. To clarify: HE was mad because I wouldn't do HIM a favor on MY birthday. Hmmm.

He tripped over a laundry basket in the kitchen and started bitching, I picked it up and took it to the bedroom and slammed the door on my way out - which knocked a photo off the shelf above the door, which flew to the ground and broke all over the living room floor. Score, I also get to clean up broken glass and vacuum on my birthday. I will admit, it was my fault.

We had to take a 45-50 mile road trip to renew my license (he had the day off due to Veteran's Day). He didn't say 2 words to me the whole way.

After I got my new license he asked where I wanted to go. I said Wal-Mart because that's kind of been our tradition. He asked why I wanted to go there. So I just said forget it, let's get some lunch and go home. Instead he drove to the 5 store mall. Why? To go to the sporting goods store (so he can check out all the hunting gear). Whereupon he suggests I buy myself some long underwear or sweatpants for my birthday. I picked out a pair of pajama pants. I do spend most of my time in my jammies anyway.

So then we get lunch and go home.

And on the deserted backroads roads that take us back home...he has the nerve to suggest I give him a you know what while he's driving. ????? As if it was his birthday or something. Unbelievable. Worst birthday ever.

On the way I realized that I really had meant to go to Wal-Mart to at least buy myself a birthday cake. I had a cake mix at home, but no frosting. There was no place to stop on the way home. I told him to go to the gas station past our house. He felt a little bad then, but no where near bad enough.

So we get home, all the kids are cranky, baby is screamy... and I'm trying to get the cake mix done... amazingly he picked up the baby, but then 2 minutes later says he has to poop! UGH!! He does that every single time he is holding the baby. I've been pooping with babies on my lap since about 2005!! So the cake was on hold for an hour or so while I took care of the baby.

I had to frost the cake and re-heat some leftover soup for dinner while the baby had a screamy fit. He was pretty much fine while we all ate dinner, but then got screamy again as soon as the cake and ice cream were out.

Anyway, the highlight was that tweenie had made me a card at school. She's so funny, it said "Happy 40th Birthday, may the insanity go down with your older age (if that's possible)" Haha!! And the card from my husband? It said "Turning 40? you can tell you've reached 40 when you wake up with that awful "morning after" feeling...and you didn't do anything the night before" and he wrote in "literally" underneath it!! Ugh. Men.

The worst thing about it all? While I don't expect much from a birthday, I at least expect it to be a marginally better day than most others. And it ended up being worse.

I always go out of my way to do something special for him on his birthdays. I've decided I'm just not going to next year. That is if I can remember all this for 10 months! I bet I can hold a grudge that long. But he will have totally forgotten all about it...


Becky said...

That sounds absolutly horrible!

Oh you poor thing! That goes down in the books as the worst birthday ever!!

I would be pretty mad, and hurt:(

I'm so sorry!

Happy Birthday girlie:) At least it is behind you now...

Krimmyk said...

Happy Belated Birthday sweetie! Sorry men are such asshats!

~~Mel~~ said...

Wow...I'm sorry you had such a crappy birthday!

Your husband needs a quick reality check...babies poop, yes that's right they do...very go change him! urgh.

Anyway, if I were there...I'd kidnap you and we'd go for a night on the town..cause you of all people deserve it!

Happy 40th!!!!

LazyCrazyMama said...

@ Mel: Haha, sorry it was my husband that had to poop!! But of course we all know if it would have been the baby he would have handed the baby over to me for a diaper change ;)


first time visit - girl, i feel your pain. the last time my husband did something nice for my bday - bought me and my 2 gf's great tickets to see the CAVS bball game - he was at home all night on the comp/phone with his mistress - oh how kind

ahole and that's one for the down low books - let's just say that a separation of 6 mths and very near divorce later, we don't do anything for anyone's bday - except the kids, obviously

Beth P. said...

Oh no. How horrible. I'm sorry, I wish we could all grant you a birthday do-over!

Helene said...

Are we married to the same man?? I could seriously see my husband doing the same thing and then pouting like a baby afterwards because I wouldn't put out.

I'm sorry your birthday sucked. You know, after being let down repeatedly on my birthday, I now buy my own present. Of course I use hubby's credit card and make him pay for it but I get to pick it out (and go shopping alone!!)

Bethany AKA Mother of the Munchkins said...

I'm with Beth P. time for a birthday do-over!!!! Ugh!!!

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